You know the difference between growth mindset and fixed mindset. You’ve been working on it. You can spot a fixed mindset a mile away. And it bugs the heck out of you when you hear your colleague/spouse/best friend/child responding to life with a fixed mindset.
Ever wish you could (quite literally) change their mind?
Okay, so you can’t necessarily change their mind. But you can change their mindset.
1) Look for an opportunity. Find something they did well (project work, yard work, helping you with something).
2) Show appreciation for their effort. It sounds like this: “Thank you for helping me host the client dinner/party/garage sale. Your effort and help is noticed and appreciated.”
Research on mindset shows that when people are praised for their effort they are subsequently more willing to take on more challenging tasks. On the other hand, those who are praised for their intelligence or their innate talent (i.e., “You’re so good at hosting client dinners/parties/garage sales.”), were less likely to perform well on more challenging tasks. Moreover, those who were praised for their intelligence or innate talent were less likely to even want to take on more challenging tasks!
3) Rinse and repeat. Continue to find opportunities to praise or show appreciation for a job well done.
Show your appreciation for the effort, not the person’s intelligence or talent.
Now, I’m not suggesting that you issue false praise or thank someone for meeting minimum expectations. Instead, look for the gems. They may be few and far between at first, but the more you cultivate them, the more they will emerge.
- Find an opportunity.
- Appreciate/praise the effort.
Give it a try and then share your results in the comments below.
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